Saturday, August 17, 2013

My mom's it xxxxxx abuse?

Dear Rita and others,

(photo from Diana, post it reads "Dear Mom")

I'm Diana and I'm              years old. I love my ma so much and I want her to be happy but I'm not happy with her so called boyfriend. They met in a car wash a few months ago and then he asked her out etc

It was nice until a few weeks ago when he acted like a             

I asked "Hey              (mom's boyfriend) where's my ma?"

He said "She went out. She'll be back in an hour sweetheart" and then he winked.

I thought why did I bother asking this jerk? Something about him makes me so uncomfortable. The first time I saw him I was like NO!

It turned out my ma went out to buy some stuff so she can cook dinner. When she got home I helped her make dinner whatever. (I seem like a brat I know but I'm so disgusted these days...)

My ma was about to clean up the dishes and I said "no I'll do it." (She looked beat so she went to rest in her room)

As I was cleaning the dishes              comes in and starts to talk to me about my life and my friends...

I told him my friends are cool and we like to do this and that. That's when things got awkward.

He asked "do you have a boyfriend?"

I said "don't worry about it"

"well he's lucky" he said

"I don't have one!" (I felt like he tricked me into admitting this.)

I looked over my shoulder and he's smiling. He's creepy. I get really scared when he's still staring at me as he slowly stands up and walks toward me. I look away and wash faster..but then he's behind me grabbing the sponge from my hand. I froze and I almost cry because I felt so stuck and in danger.

"Want me to help?" he asked

"No" I whispered scared I'd anger him

he whispered back "ok" close to my face and backed away from me.

That night I couldn't sleep. The days after that when he came were even more intense. Is this sexual abuse? I feel like my life is being controlled. I don't wanna tell my mom I'm uncomfortable with              because that would upset her.  He's coming next week and my mom wants me to always be around when he visits otherwise it would be rude.

Help, ttyla


<This post may have been edited by the writers permission to allow better understanding and censorship>


  1. My advice is watch out! This guy sounds like a per^
    I feel so bad for you...what else has he done girl? Can you give us an update thanks. Hang in there!

    1. Yes hopefully she will ttyla. I've spoken to her and she appreciates any and all comments/advice from anyone. If you have something to say to Diana she will read every comment on this post. She feels very alone. I will get back to you if/when she shares more.

  2. This girl needs to be careful! I don't like the things this guy is saying. If he even touches her she needs to go to the police.

  3. I know she is very young and it is difficult to hold emotions, but she should talk with her mother and tell her how she feels in a respectful way. She does not want to hurt her mom, I get that,but her mom would be devastated if something hurt her daughter, even if it is only on an emotional level. Sometimes parents are trying so hard to make things good and "how they should be" that they do not see what is right in front of them.

  4. In my opinion, she really needs to talk to someone she can trust (and be able to help/do something). First, she needs to talk to her mom. But I know from some stories I've read that sometimes even parents ignore/deny such thing, or just like Denise Z said. If that happens, perhaps Diana should talk to one of her trusted teachers/neighbors/friends.

  5. I think it's very important that she seeks out someone she truly trusts and let them know the exact situation before it becomes too late. That creep may just sneak up on her while the mom is away.

  6. This guy sounds really creepy! I know that telling her mom is the right thing to do, but I doubt it's gonna be too useful, probably she'll be on his side, telling herself that her daughter don't wants her to date. I thing that the best thing she coould do is tell someone that she trusts (her grandma, one of her friends) and to try not to remain with him alone

  7. Trust your instinct. You should be careful around him. Don't give him your full trust and avoid being alone with him. And it is important to let one adult you trust know how you are feeling towards your mom's boyfriend.

  8. She should try talking to her mom, it's tough yeah, bu that's the only way to sort it out.

  9. You should definitely discuss this with your mum. His behaviour sounds very suspicious and if you keep silent about it, it may encourage him to continue behaving in this manner.

    Sarah B. Setar

  10. It is not sexual abuse...yet. But it is mental abuse.You should never feel trapped or as if your life is being controlled by someone else. There is always something you can do. In this case, I suggest you talk to your mom about it. She may not like to hear it, but is her happiness more important then yours? No. It might just be that your mom had no clue whatsoever what was going on, and that she'll break it off immediately because she doesn't want to date him anymore now that she knows what he's like to you. Just don't stand by and let it happen, that'll only make it worse...

  11. Tell your mom you are uncomfortable around her boyfriend. No one should be allow to make you feel this way, especially in your own home. I don't know your mother but if she doesn't do anything to fix the problem, go to another adult you trust. Your grandmother, aunt, close family friend, but address this situation before it gets worse.

  12. I think she should talk to her mom, it's not sexual abuse yet but it could escalate to that and it's already bad enough. If there are warning bells going off in her head telling her to stay away or that she doesn't want to be near this guy, then she should listen to them.

  13. This guy might just be socially inept. She should talk to her mom about it.

  14. Although it's not sexual abuse at this point, his behaviour and actions are totally unacceptable. I do hope she tells her mother or someone she trusts so they can get rid of this creep before the situation gets worse than it already is. And please always listen to your intuition or gut instincts ... if something doesn't seem or feel right, it most likely isn't.

  15. Talk to the mom. Sometimes the guy could just be socially awkward or inept but its better to play it safe then anything else.

  16. she should really try reaching out to her mom. the way he acts is just plain inappropriate!

  17. Speak out. Speak out loud & clear.

  18. Do speak about it and refuse to stay alone with him! you could even ask a friend to pass for your boyfriend if you think he would make him step down ( but i doubt it)
    Better to stop him before the situation get worse

  19. It doesn't sound like sexual abuse... but he sounds like a perv... so it could possibly lead there Maybe you should talk to your mom about him and avoid him whenever possible?

  20. It's not sexual abuse yet but it is sexual harassment. She should definitely tell her mom. If her mom doesn't believe her and/or doesn't act on it, she should tell a trusted adult. This behavior should not be ignored b/c it will only encourage him.

  21. He's definitely a perv! Stay away from him.